Therapy for Immigrants and Children of Immigrants in New York City

You learned how to make your family proud. But did you learn how to make space for yourself?

Being the child of immigrants can mean carrying expectations that aren't always spoken out loud.

You may have grown up hearing about your parents' sacrifices and feeling like you needed to make their hard work “worth it.” You learned to be responsible, successful, grateful, and accommodating—but somewhere along the way, you may have lost touch with what you actually want.

Maybe you:

  • Feel guilty when you choose yourself or disappoint your family

  • Struggle with people pleasing because saying no feels selfish or disrespectful

  • Feel pressure to succeed because of the model minority myth

  • Constantly compare yourself to what you should have accomplished by now

  • Feel caught between your family's values and the person you're becoming

  • Struggle to balance multiple cultural identities without feeling like you fully belong to either

  • Feel responsible for your parents' happiness or emotional wellbeing

  • Have difficulty setting boundaries without feeling like a “bad daughter” or “bad son”

  • Feel like your accomplishments are never enough

  • Carry resentment, but then feel guilty for having it

  • Find yourself overthinking decisions because you don't want to make the “wrong” choice

  • Want independence while still wanting your family's approval

  • Feel exhausted from constantly adapting who you are depending on who you're around

You can love your family and still feel hurt.

You can be grateful for your parents' sacrifices and still want something different.

You can value your culture and still question certain expectations.

You can want to make your family proud without making their definition of success the measure of your worth.

Therapy can help you make room for all of those truths.

How we approach healing to therapy?

We look at what's underneath it.

At Bold Brown Therapy, I use an integrated approach that draws from CBT, DBT, IFS, and EMDR to help you understand your patterns, regulate difficult emotions, and develop a stronger relationship with yourself.

CBT — Understanding the thoughts keeping you stuck

We identify the beliefs that may be fueling anxiety, perfectionism, guilt, and people pleasing.

You might notice thoughts like:

“If I disappoint my parents, I'm a bad child.”

“I should be more successful by now.”

“Other people have sacrificed more than I have, so I shouldn't complain.”

Together, we work on challenging these beliefs and developing more balanced ways of thinking.

DBT — Learning to navigate difficult emotions and relationships

When guilt, anger, anxiety, or family conflict feels overwhelming, DBT skills can help you regulate your emotions and communicate your needs without immediately reverting to people pleasing or shutting down.

You'll learn how to tolerate discomfort, set boundaries, and have difficult conversations while staying connected to yourself.

IFS — Understanding the different parts of you

Maybe there's a part of you that desperately wants independence.

Another part that wants to make your parents proud.

Another part that feels guilty for wanting more.

And another part that's simply exhausted from holding everything together.

IFS-informed work helps you understand these different parts with curiosity rather than judgment—so you can make choices from your authentic self, rather than from fear, guilt, or obligation.

EMDR — Processing experiences that still affect you

Some experiences don't simply disappear because you understand them intellectually.

EMDR can help process difficult or painful experiences that continue to shape how you see yourself, relationships, safety, or your ability to trust yourself.

Culturally Informed Therapy for Children of Immigrants in New York City

Are you a South Asian, person of color, and/or third culture kid who’s struggling to figure out where your needs end and everyone else’s begin?

Maybe you’re constantly pleasing others, feeling guilty saying no, or searching for the next achievement—but you’re not even sure why.

You may have inherited beliefs around sacrifice, success, responsibility, and putting others first from parents or grandparents who experienced poverty, war, immigration, or other hardships.

So now you're sitting on the couch wondering:

What do I actually want?
Which career is right for me?
How do I set boundaries without feeling guilty?
How do I say no without feeling like a bad daughter or son?

And then there’s code-switching.

You may feel like one version of yourself exists at home and another exists outside of it—constantly adjusting how you speak, act, or show up depending on who you're with.

Trying to balance multiple cultural identities can leave you feeling caught between who your family expects you to be, who your community says you should be, and who you're becoming.

Therapy can help you differentiate between what you were taught to want and what you actually want.

You can honor your family's sacrifices without sacrificing yourself.

You can care about your family without carrying everyone's needs.

You can belong to your culture without shrinking parts of yourself to fit in.

And you can build a life that feels like yours—not just one that looks successful from the outside.

Frequently Asked Questions for Therapy for Immigrants & Children of Immigrants in New York City

  • Therapy for children of immigrants creates space to explore the unique pressures of growing up between cultures. You may be navigating family expectations, cultural identity, anxiety, people pleasing, guilt, perfectionism, or the pressure to succeed while trying to figure out what you actually want for yourself.

  • Therapy can help you explore the tension between who your family expects you to be and who you want to become. This may include balancing cultural identities, navigating your family's values, and understanding how your parents' or grandparents' experiences and sacrifices shaped the expectations you grew up with.

    You don't have to choose between honoring your culture and being yourself. Therapy can help you decide what values and traditions you want to carry forward while creating a life that feels like your own.

  • Yes. If you've learned that being a “good daughter” or “good son” means putting others first, saying no can bring up significant guilt or anxiety.

    Therapy can help you understand where your people-pleasing patterns come from, differentiate guilt from responsibility, and practice setting boundaries without automatically viewing yourself as selfish, disrespectful, or ungrateful.

  • POC (person of color) is a broad term for people who experience the world as someone who isn't perceived as white. People of color may navigate experiences related to race, culture, belonging, and identity that can shape their mental health.

    A third culture kid (TCK) is someone who grows up between or across cultures and develops a sense of identity influenced by multiple cultural environments. You may feel at home in several cultures—or like you don't completely belong to any one of them.

    Therapy can provide space to explore these experiences and understand how they influence your relationships, identity, and sense of self.

  • No. While Bold Brown Therapy specializes in working with South Asian clients and has a deep understanding of South Asian cultural experiences, you don't have to identify as South Asian to seek therapy.

    These services may also be a good fit for people of color, children of immigrants, first- or second-generation immigrants, and third culture kids navigating cultural identity, family expectations, people pleasing, anxiety, boundaries, or life transitions.

    Your cultural experience doesn't have to fit neatly into one box for therapy to be helpful.